Some Helpful Guidelines for Healthy Grieving
T = To accept the reality of the loss
E = Experience the pain of the loss
A = Adjust to the new environment of the loss
R = Reinvest in the new reality
- TALK ABOUT IT: Share your grief with those trusted few - do not attempt to protect them by silence. Find a friend to talk to, someone will listen without passing judgment. If possible, find someone who has experienced a similar sorrow. Talk often. If the friend tells you to "snap out of it," find another friend.
- TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: Bereavement can be a threat to your health. At the moment, you may feel that you do not care. That will change in time. You are important and your life is valuable. Care for it.
- EAT WELL: At this time of emotional and physical depletion, your body needs good nourishment more than ever.
- EXERCISE REGULARLY: Intense emotions can be lightened by the biochemical changes brought by exercise, and you will sleep better.
- ACCEPT YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE DEATH: For the time being you have probably asked "why" over and over and have finally realized that you will get no acceptable answer; but you probably have some small degree of understanding. Use that as your viewpoint until you are able to work up to another level of understanding.
- JOIN A GROUP OF OTHERS WHO ARE SORROWING: Your old circle of friends may change. Even if it does not, you need new friends who have been through your experience. Bereaved people sometimes form groups for friendship and sharing.
- POSTPONE MAJOR DECISIONS: For example, wait before deciding to sell your home (one year is recommended) or change jobs.